PAD Day 21: More Political Satire

 Today's prompts from Writer's Digest and NaPoWriMo: (1) Write a poem with the title "_______ Day," and (2) "try your hand at writing your own poem in which something that normally unfolds in a set and well understood way  — like a baseball game or dance recital – goes haywire, but is described as if it is all very normal."

Well, I already did a poem this month that would perfectly fit today's second prompt - that was back on Day 5 when I wrote a mock classical concert review about the Trump Admnistration attempting to conduct a symphony. But what the heck - this administration practically writes its own satires, so I'm back to that subject with a sports report in a very similar vein. Besides, I found that political satire is a great way to "laugh to keep from crying," and I think we need an awful lot of it these days. I know it's  longish prose poem, but I hope you enjoy it. (Apologies in advance to anyone who thinks the title implies that it's an earnest or reverent ode to the great Jackie Robinson. Also note: The Yiddish word for "bedbug" is spelled "vance" in English, though in Yiddish it's pronounced more like "vontz.")

Jackie Robinson Day
 
Today the Washington Magpies lost yet another game, 11-0,
despite the high expectations of their manager, Darnold Grump.
The game began auspiciously enough,
when the team trotted onto the field in their new uniforms—
red hats with the logo “MBGA,” and brown uniform shirts.
Today was Jackie Robinson Day, but despite the tradition,
the Magpie players did not wear Robinson’s uniform number 42.
(General manager Elong Tusk explained this was because of DEI.)
The players do not wear batting helmets either—
batting coach R.F. Wormwood Jr. claims they cause autism.
There is also a noticeable absence of Latin players on the team,
as they have all been deported to El Salvador for wearing tattoos.
 
California Liberals manager Gavin Handsom started their ace pitcher,
Adam Swift, who was brilliant, striking out one Magpie after another,
as Grump complained that the strike zone was rigged.
Cleanup hitter Pete Hogshead was then ejected from the game
for sharing the coaches’ signals with the other team.
Hogshead was so angry he smashed his beer bottle against the dugout wall.
The game just got worse from there, with the Magpies
committing twelve errors over the first three innings,
and assistant manager J.D. Bedbug was ejected for asking the umpires
why they never thanked the Magpies for giving them a job.
 
The game was called in the seventh inning due to rain,
making California the official winner.
Grump objected loudly by denying the weather was even happening.
“It’s not raining—YOU’RE raining!” he screamed at the umpires.
Moments later, thousands of angry, red-hatted Magpie fans
tore seats from the bleachers and stormed the field,
yelling that the game was stolen, and pelting the umps
with little plastic helmets full of Dippin’ Dots.
Grump blamed “crooked, radical leftist umpires," the “woke sports media,”
and former manager “Sleepy Joe Biding” for the loss.
 
(Note: All next week’s game schedule is cancelled, 

because after today’s game, GM Tusk fired most of the roster.)