PAD Day 15: insta-culture

 First of all, I want to thank Maureen Thorson of NaPoWriMo for highlighting my PAD poem on her blog - my Philip Larkin takeoff, "This Be the Season," a bit of a humorous screed about the IRS, which I wrote yesterday. Always an honor!

Today's prompts from Write Better Poetry and NapoWriMo: (1) Write a "shadow" poem, and (2) "think of a person – real or imagined – who has been held out to you as an example of how to be of live [sic], but who you have always had doubts about. Write a poem that exaggerates the supposedly admirable qualities of the person in a way that exposes your doubts."

I picked a type more than a particular person - though I have one in mind, and so will you, probably, once you read the poem. I guess this type is an example of "how to live" as in, "Why can't you sell millions of poetry books like [insert name here]?"  I made only a passing reference to the "shadow" prompt in this poem. (I wrote a "shadow" poem a couple of years ago, about a game my grandkids play with shadows in the summertime, that was published on the website Your Daily Poem. I don't think I can top that one. Click here if you'd like to read it.)

13 short pieces from an instapoet
 
1.
i'm not your stuffy, dusty, dead white poet
whose book you keep on the shelf
to impress your guests. i'm accessible!
 
2.
i draw cute little illustrations
with every poem i crank out.
they are art like my writing is poetry.
 
3.
my poems are ideal for short attention spans,
never filling more than half a page.
 
4.
my poems inspire you with platitudes,
stale metaphors, & lots of abstract nouns.
 
5.
i make the reader feel, not think.
thinking is for dummies.
 
6.
here's a poem i wrote on a napkin just last night.
it doesn't want to spend years in the shadows
or my sock drawer.  it wants to meet you NOW.
 
7.
all you other poets are jealous because I'm so popular.
how many million books have YOU sold?
 
8.
i am indeed in the land of milk & honey.
 
9.
like the kardashians, i have proven that
someone can become famous
without having a single original thought.
 
10.
look, there's a whole shelf devoted to me
in barnes & noble!
(also a couple of books by somebody named
billy collins & mary oliver.)

 
11.
now everyone is jumping on my bandwagon.
girls, get your diaries out!
 
12.
i've gone on long enough now.
i'm going to watch tik-tok
& make dinner in my instapot.
 
13.
& after that I'll need an hour
to write my next book.