Today’s dual prompts from Poetic Asides and NaPoWriMo: (1) Write a poem with the title “Everyone ________”, and (2) write a ballad (whether an old English-style ballad, a rock power ballad, etc.) I’m not exactly sure why the subject of my poem popped up, other than the fact that it’s been a pet peeve of mine lately – an almost irrational and toxic animosity toward a certain celebrity, and it seemed to be a good fit for the title prompt too. I’ve been writing a lot of humorous and light verse this month for some reason, so why stop now?
Everyone Hates Anne
(The Ballad of Anne Hathaway)
There is a girl in Hollywood,
Anne Hathaway’s her name,
and people seem to hate her guts,
and most resent her fame.
She’s pretty, perky, gifted too,
yet people seem so bitter,
with snarky comments on their blogs
and Facebook posts and Twitter.
She did The Princess Diaries
and Brokeback Mountain too,
but still they call her “theater kid”;
her acting they pooh-pooh.
She’s been Jane Austen, “99”,
a fashion gal in Prada.
How much respect did they give her?
Try, zero, nothing, nada.
She’s played Batman’s Selina Kyle,
and Alice’s White Queen,
Then she brought home her Oscar gold
for playing poor Fantine.
But still the haters had their doubts,
although she shed a tear
when she gave her acceptance speech;
they called her insincere.
So here’s my message to you folks:
please keep your wrath at bay,
for I’ll make no apologies –
I love Anne Hathaway.