Elegy for Fred Phelps Consisting Entirely of Lies
O Fred, you were a kind and tolerant man.
Your church welcomed people from all walks of life.
You accepted others' differences, especially their sexuality.
You were grateful for the service of our men and women in uniform.
You were a strong supporter of a woman's right to choose.
You always allowed bereaved families to mourn with dignity.
You quietly held your beliefs and did not impose them on others.
If you disagreed, you did it in a reasonable, intelligent manner.
You surely are in heaven, Fred, and the world will miss you.
May God rest your soul.