Today’s dual prompts from Poetic Asides and NaPoWriMo: (1) Write a "discovery" poem, and (2) write a “golden shovel” poem. This form was created by Terrance Hayes in his poem "The Golden Shovel": he took Gwendolyn Brooks’ famous short poem “We Real Cool” and made each word of that poem the last word in each consecutive line of his poem. (The title of his poem, and the name of the form, is taken from the subtitle of Brooks' poem - the "Golden Shovel" is the name of the pool hall.) The poem I used here is Margaret Atwood’s “You Fit into Me”:
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
So here’s a poem from the POV of a woman who discovers that her relationship is over. Like with Hayes' poem, I tried to keep some of the spirit of the original in my reworking:
The Hook and Eye Disconnect
(after Margaret Atwood)
Baby, I just discovered that you
and I don’t work anymore. You’re not fit
to hold this heart, to slip it into
your pocket like spare change. Tell me
you care, that you really like
my company, but that’s just a
convenient lie. Don’t think you can hook
me with threats or pleas. I’ve seen into
the future, and it’s filled with an
empty house. We don’t see eye-to-eye,
and I can’t abide your swagger, a
selfish air, a lingering lust for all those “fish
in the sea”. So baby, you’re off the hook –
I release you; I throw you back. Have an
incredible life. The door is open,
the world ready for your unfaithful eye.
like a hook into an eye
an open eye
The Hook and Eye Disconnect
(after Margaret Atwood)
and I don’t work anymore. You’re not fit
to hold this heart, to slip it into
your pocket like spare change. Tell me
you care, that you really like
my company, but that’s just a
convenient lie. Don’t think you can hook
me with threats or pleas. I’ve seen into
the future, and it’s filled with an
empty house. We don’t see eye-to-eye,
and I can’t abide your swagger, a
selfish air, a lingering lust for all those “fish
in the sea”. So baby, you’re off the hook –
I release you; I throw you back. Have an
incredible life. The door is open,
the world ready for your unfaithful eye.