PAD Day 12: Felony Alliteration

Today's dual prompts from Poetic Asides and NaPoWriMo: (1) Write a "guilty" poem, and (2) write a poem with alliteration and/or assonance.

I'm no stranger to alliteration, and as Maureen at NaPoWriMo says, it's a great device to tighten and liven your poetry, as long as it isn't overdone. But just for fun, I'm about to overdo it.

Guilty as All Get-out

If there is a poetry prison,

then send me to the slammer,

haul me to the hoosegow,

run me up the river,

clamp me in the clink.

I can't help this utter urge

to collate consonants constantly.

I alliterate literally till late at night,

nattering about nothing other

than sibilant serendipitous sounds,

precise poetic pronunciation.

Even the vowels get involved -

I assent to assonance as well.

I shall not shop without some choices -

better to get Dunkin Donuts

or Krispy Kreme?

Best Buy or Bed, Bath and Beyond?

I will only watch what's worthwhile -

like Batman Begins and Beauty and the Beast,

Duck Dynasty and Charles in Charge.

Anyway, say I'm cray-cray,

strap me in a strait jacket

and lock me in the loony bin,

or rough me up, stuff me in handcuffs,

and stick me in stir.

But as long as you lend me a laptop

or provide me with a proper pen or pencil,

I can continue to collect consonants

with a clear conscience. Capiche?