Though I'm wearing my hair rather wigly,
and acting male-chauvinist-pigly,
I've got a hot wife
and a filthy-rich life,
and I won the election quite “bigly”.
My "yuge" win is "unpresidented",
a fact "leightweight chockers" resented,
and I "schlonged" Hillary.
Now I "hear by" decree:
get those aliens un-residented.
Christian Right thinks that I am a star,
‘cos I said I’m pro-life, like they are,
even though I’m the man went
and broke each commandment –
Two Corinthians walk into a bar….
That climate change stuff’s just a plot
that China cooked up, so it’s not
getting warmer in here,
it’s just perfectly clear -
coal and oil will still keep burning hot!
So what if I want to bomb Syria?
Just cool it with all your hysteria!
My belligerent patter's
not a life-or-death matter -
well, maybe it's old-age deliria.
Now that mad North Korea dictator
wants to make our great country a crater.
Well, it’s time to get tough,
I know things may get rough –
if the fallout does clear, thank me later.